same_difference | Reputations Part 2

Well, being "known by reputation" doesn't necessarily mean you have a reputation that can be deftly summarised into a few words; but more that shadows of your existence spread out into your friendship group and can be referenced without your direct presence. Like "Oh yeah, Dom, he's the chairman of SciFi", for example...

Fair enough. Ok so I wonder what I am referenced by?

I think I probably know you a bit too well/directly to go by reputation, so I've no idea what it is.

Asking people to describe your reputation is somewhat unkind, both to them and yourself.

Reputation is part fact, part fiction, and parts of both will be good and parts bad (and parts indifferent data, such as Alex's example, though usually people will have gained an impression that makes your rep "he is a good chairman of Sci Fi" or the alternative or something inbetween). Your associates will know which is which and will know the truth from the fiction, but will not want to relay the bad and will feel dishonest about relaying the good without the bad.

Those who know you only by reputation, if they pass a Wisdom check DC5, will be aware that some of what they have heard will be unfriendly or mildly discourteous at least. They will not wish to upset you, unless they possess a vindictive personality, in which case you can't rely on their testimony.

Similarly, should your sister ever question such directly, she will inevitably receive evasive answers as people will assume what is said to her is said to you. Consequently her question is unlikely to ever be answered in full, though you can probably get a gamut of the good things to pass on if you approach people in private conversation rather than in this somewhat open forum.

I disclaimer this as follows: this is a generalised answer with no statement as to personal belief or knowledge of good or bad points to either your nature or reputation. This is a comment to how people relate, not what I or anyone else may actually think of you. By which I mean I can't think of anything good to say about you at all. ;)

I'm tired. I had to read that three times to get it to make sense in my head.

I suppose I wondered if I had any specific reputation as such. A thought I found vaguely amusing to be honest. The line 'Or one that no one is willing to tell me about.' was supposed to be vaguely tongue in cheek, but as always my sense of humour is hit and miss.

At the end of the day I (mostly) stopped worrying what other people think of me a while ago. I trust that those I choose to associate with know what am I like, and those I do not choose to associate with don't matter. I don't think I give a false impression of myself, though I do open up over time, to the point and which I generally find myself comfortable to talk about anything. Regardless I believe (probably as everyone does) I will always be the one of the most critical people when it comes to myself, though I always welcome criticism from those who I consider friends because it is the best way to improve myself.

In the end what really interests me with these things, is who chooses to comment, what they say and how they say it.

Agreed.
I stopped worrying what people think too. This is in part because a whole host of people I have probably embarassed myself in front of over time will either have forgotten I exist, not known me in the first instance, or regularly tease me about said incidents in the pub over a friendly pint.

If I were to discuss what reputations you had, pfff, I dunno. I would like to believe people think you are generous because you are, especially with your time and your wheels. I would hope people recognise you as smart and funny. You have a tendency towards self-induced catatonia but I am sure that only applies to Saturday mornings, household chores and your family when you know you can get away with it.

I agree with Drabbit's summaries re:general reputation. I know I am regarded in some quarters as hard working, others as absent, others as very supportive and others again as hard nosed and intolerant. Reputation certainly is context dependent.

Whoa, whoa, whoa people!

I think you guys have mis-interpreted Liz's comment! I think it was simply meant as an innocent "I don't really know you, Dom, except by what I've heard of you from other people" - I don't think any "bad" reputation or notoriety was being implied. :)

And you /don't/ have a bad rep. I'd seriously challenge anyone who tried to imply that you do.

I concur - it's very hard to find out everything of what someone thinks of you - it takes years usually and that after a year or two at least of them forming the opinion. Then just once you get there, their opinion changes because of something. It's just not worth worrying about - people will like you or not for their own reasons and ultimately the reasons don't matter as much as the action of liking or disliking you and how that's expressed.

Reputations Part 2

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