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A Year in Review
Dec. 31st, 2006 02:26 pmThis was the year that everything changed. Well that's what part of me wants to write in dramatic sci-fi fashion. In reality for me this was the year that one thing changed; it was the most important thing, the thing around which I was building my whole life and by changed I mean came to an end, but it is still just one thing. With it took countless dreams and plans for the future, but the foundations that had been laid on which those dreams were due to be built remain. So I'll start this new year afresh, with strong foundations to build on and the freedom of endless possibilities to explore.
There in lies my great concern at the moment. I do not have any dreams or desires, things to work towards for reasons stronger than 'it seems a wise idea'. My problem as much as it shouldn't be called that is that even with all that's happened, my life is basically very good and contentment is my base state of feeling. Contentment though leeches desire; if things are good what is there to motivate me for more. I had someone else's dreams to build a life around, to work towards, but living for other people is easy, living just for one's self is hard. I'm not complaining about contentment I just wish to know that if I make no changes, achieve no great goals, it is not because I failed to motivate myself to do so, but because I honestly wanted no more than I had. At least then I will feel no guilt for failing to make the most of all the wonderful opportunities I have had, because I'll have made the most of them that I wanted to.
So the desires I have come up with so far:
- Buy a home. Buying a house is a sensible idea assuming I wish to leave my parents home, and do not wish to rent again. Buying a home though is different, it means buying somewhere in which I really want to live.
- Learn to drum. It is the one thing I have always wanted to do. For three years now I have had the necessary equipment. Now I have the space, the time and the location to do so. I'm going to try and pay a friend to teach me, but not until I know I'll put the time in to make it worth while.
- Swim with sharks. I've wanted to do it for a very long time. So if I'm going to do it I need to work out where I can do so and what it will cost. More importantly though I may need to learn to snorkel or scuba dive and by definition learn to swim better. Still I won't know unless I try and find out.
- Start weight training again. I've liked feeling strong, I wish to feel stronger. Again my life is organised to a point in which it can be done. Now I just need to get organised enough to buy the weights and start.
- Visit Australia and New Zealand. See my relatives who live over there, and see those places for myself. Someone to go with would be good. It needs planning though, when to go, how long to go for and what to see.
So that's it. I'd like it to grow because I feel I should want more. Still we can see, an starting is better than not doing it at all.
Now my attempt to note down what I can about the year that has been, if only to prove to myself that things of importance have happened before October. This Year:
( The year in statements. )
I'll think I'll add to that list later as I think of stuff, I've updated it a little
There in lies my great concern at the moment. I do not have any dreams or desires, things to work towards for reasons stronger than 'it seems a wise idea'. My problem as much as it shouldn't be called that is that even with all that's happened, my life is basically very good and contentment is my base state of feeling. Contentment though leeches desire; if things are good what is there to motivate me for more. I had someone else's dreams to build a life around, to work towards, but living for other people is easy, living just for one's self is hard. I'm not complaining about contentment I just wish to know that if I make no changes, achieve no great goals, it is not because I failed to motivate myself to do so, but because I honestly wanted no more than I had. At least then I will feel no guilt for failing to make the most of all the wonderful opportunities I have had, because I'll have made the most of them that I wanted to.
So the desires I have come up with so far:
- Buy a home. Buying a house is a sensible idea assuming I wish to leave my parents home, and do not wish to rent again. Buying a home though is different, it means buying somewhere in which I really want to live.
- Learn to drum. It is the one thing I have always wanted to do. For three years now I have had the necessary equipment. Now I have the space, the time and the location to do so. I'm going to try and pay a friend to teach me, but not until I know I'll put the time in to make it worth while.
- Swim with sharks. I've wanted to do it for a very long time. So if I'm going to do it I need to work out where I can do so and what it will cost. More importantly though I may need to learn to snorkel or scuba dive and by definition learn to swim better. Still I won't know unless I try and find out.
- Start weight training again. I've liked feeling strong, I wish to feel stronger. Again my life is organised to a point in which it can be done. Now I just need to get organised enough to buy the weights and start.
- Visit Australia and New Zealand. See my relatives who live over there, and see those places for myself. Someone to go with would be good. It needs planning though, when to go, how long to go for and what to see.
So that's it. I'd like it to grow because I feel I should want more. Still we can see, an starting is better than not doing it at all.
Now my attempt to note down what I can about the year that has been, if only to prove to myself that things of importance have happened before October. This Year:
( The year in statements. )
I'll think I'll add to that list later as I think of stuff, I've updated it a little
