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Utter Apathy
May. 13th, 2007 12:49 pmSo not larping today, not really because of the weather though that was probably a factor, but just because I couldn't be bothered. Spent about 2 hours this morning, not being able to decide if I wanted to go or not, and knowing me got ready anyway and headed up. I knew there was no point waiting for me to make a decision either way before hand because it wouldn't work. When there I realised that the sense of apathy just wasn't shifting, and a general 'Meh, *shrug*' attitude wasn't really in character or likely to be fun for me or others.
I'm strange really, I go through periods of indefinite length of feelings of utter apathy. Really couldn't care less either way about anything. Not sure about the cause, have no memory of it having a particular duration, just suspect it's me being neurotic in all likelihood. Well meaning people tried to convince me to larp with such arguments as:
# *puppy dog eyes* - Which really don't work anyway as I have a tendency to become stubborn and indifferent if people are trying to manipulate me (jokingly or not), the apathy just made this reaction stronger.
# "Obey the Hair!" - while admittingly amazing hair and said with a sense of fun, didn't break through.
# "No Birthday present if you don't" - apathy means the existence or non existence of birthday presents is equally 'Meh'.
# "Your character dies" - again '*shrug* Meh' because even if it hadn't been a joke well apathy.
While I appreciate them trying, they were doomed always to fail at least today. Other days it might have worked, I've certainly gotten past the apathy before (and sometimes with help), clearly though, today though it was clearly unmatched and unshakeable. To be honest still feel '*Shrug* Meh' about everything, maybe it'll clear up later or tomorrow.
It's been a while since I updated so what else has happened. Not a great deal really <- NB: apathy description.
Saw Spider-man 3 it was dire. Definitely not worth going to the cinema. Interestingly enough I've been hearing from places (don't know how accurate it is) that the director Sam Raimi has always hated the Venom character and never planned to make a Spider-man film with him in. The reason being that Raimi was attracted to the humanity and not strictly evilness of the traditional spider-man villains. Assuming he was then included due to pressure from the producers, it might explain the general underdevelopment of the story and the characters. Doesn't explain the horrific John Travolta-esque Peter Parker bit. Then again I wasn't particularly impressed with Spider-man 2, so while I'm not convinced an uninfluenced Raimi film would have been good, I suspect it wouldn't have been so bad.
Still trying to work out why it's Spider-man and not Spiderman. Any comic geeks know how the comics title it. I suspected it must be some sort of copyright issue, but the original films in the 80's used it too, and IMDB didn't list anything other than a 1990 Swiss-German film titled Spiderman. So I'm confused and curious really.
Had a very lovely bank holiday weekend in Wales, it was a good change and gave me the kind of rest I'd needed in some ways. Even if I was definitely tired and subdued at times, I was generally enjoying myself. Even the weather going Welsh, didn't cause any problems. There were lots and lots of couples, a certain pair of them being very cute :P
Really glad I can deal with that sort of thing now, still I need to make some efforts to meet people really. Though I keep being indecisive if I'm in a good position in life (not mentally - in a indefinably different sense) to start something, and whether it would not be better to wait for the indefinable thing to change. I certainly like the thought, as unrealistic as it is, to somehow call in all the owed favours and credit I've earned with friends as a result of well being me/nice, to get them to all go out hunting on my behalf. Though clearly that's just me wanting to be lazy and succeed anyway.
Still I'm blessed with friends, who even put up with apathetic useless me, so no worries or rush.
D&D continues well, I still have a party, yay! Almost entirely winging as a GM does seem to work well, including the creation of some unique characters 'Old Granny' and her shop of everything emporium being a good example. Cursed lingerie of gender changing being less good, especially when you have a Haposi-esque character in the party. Still you live, learn and think on your feet to fix things as need be. Haposi of course unable to buy it now has a personal quest to track down the maker. More importantly the party are discussing plot and formulating plans, so I don't have to hit them around the head with the plot and manacle them to the centre of it. For a bit at least anyway.
Looks like more than I thought. I'm fairly certain I've forgotten something. Not sure what though. Ah well I can always update later. Also I appear to be feeling a bit better, which is good.
I'm strange really, I go through periods of indefinite length of feelings of utter apathy. Really couldn't care less either way about anything. Not sure about the cause, have no memory of it having a particular duration, just suspect it's me being neurotic in all likelihood. Well meaning people tried to convince me to larp with such arguments as:
# *puppy dog eyes* - Which really don't work anyway as I have a tendency to become stubborn and indifferent if people are trying to manipulate me (jokingly or not), the apathy just made this reaction stronger.
# "Obey the Hair!" - while admittingly amazing hair and said with a sense of fun, didn't break through.
# "No Birthday present if you don't" - apathy means the existence or non existence of birthday presents is equally 'Meh'.
# "Your character dies" - again '*shrug* Meh' because even if it hadn't been a joke well apathy.
While I appreciate them trying, they were doomed always to fail at least today. Other days it might have worked, I've certainly gotten past the apathy before (and sometimes with help), clearly though, today though it was clearly unmatched and unshakeable. To be honest still feel '*Shrug* Meh' about everything, maybe it'll clear up later or tomorrow.
It's been a while since I updated so what else has happened. Not a great deal really <- NB: apathy description.
Saw Spider-man 3 it was dire. Definitely not worth going to the cinema. Interestingly enough I've been hearing from places (don't know how accurate it is) that the director Sam Raimi has always hated the Venom character and never planned to make a Spider-man film with him in. The reason being that Raimi was attracted to the humanity and not strictly evilness of the traditional spider-man villains. Assuming he was then included due to pressure from the producers, it might explain the general underdevelopment of the story and the characters. Doesn't explain the horrific John Travolta-esque Peter Parker bit. Then again I wasn't particularly impressed with Spider-man 2, so while I'm not convinced an uninfluenced Raimi film would have been good, I suspect it wouldn't have been so bad.
Still trying to work out why it's Spider-man and not Spiderman. Any comic geeks know how the comics title it. I suspected it must be some sort of copyright issue, but the original films in the 80's used it too, and IMDB didn't list anything other than a 1990 Swiss-German film titled Spiderman. So I'm confused and curious really.
Had a very lovely bank holiday weekend in Wales, it was a good change and gave me the kind of rest I'd needed in some ways. Even if I was definitely tired and subdued at times, I was generally enjoying myself. Even the weather going Welsh, didn't cause any problems. There were lots and lots of couples, a certain pair of them being very cute :P
Really glad I can deal with that sort of thing now, still I need to make some efforts to meet people really. Though I keep being indecisive if I'm in a good position in life (not mentally - in a indefinably different sense) to start something, and whether it would not be better to wait for the indefinable thing to change. I certainly like the thought, as unrealistic as it is, to somehow call in all the owed favours and credit I've earned with friends as a result of well being me/nice, to get them to all go out hunting on my behalf. Though clearly that's just me wanting to be lazy and succeed anyway.
Still I'm blessed with friends, who even put up with apathetic useless me, so no worries or rush.
D&D continues well, I still have a party, yay! Almost entirely winging as a GM does seem to work well, including the creation of some unique characters 'Old Granny' and her shop of everything emporium being a good example. Cursed lingerie of gender changing being less good, especially when you have a Haposi-esque character in the party. Still you live, learn and think on your feet to fix things as need be. Haposi of course unable to buy it now has a personal quest to track down the maker. More importantly the party are discussing plot and formulating plans, so I don't have to hit them around the head with the plot and manacle them to the centre of it. For a bit at least anyway.
Looks like more than I thought. I'm fairly certain I've forgotten something. Not sure what though. Ah well I can always update later. Also I appear to be feeling a bit better, which is good.
